Tommy Lee Visits ‘Last Call With Carson Daly’

Former drummer was a guest on ‘Last Call with Carson Daly’ on Tuesday night to promote his new book ‘Tommyland’. Lee talked a bit about talking to his penis, his love of having sex with larger women, not liking threesomes, his infamous sex tape with Pamela Anderson, and his new reality show. Read on for the complete transcript.

Carson: Our next guest is here to promote his new book right here,
“tommyland,” which I swear to god he co-wrote with his penis. [ Light laughter
] Penis co-author, right over there. Say hi to tommy lee. Tommy.

Carson: What is happening?

Tommy: Not a lot, man.

Carson: How you doin’, man?

Tommy: Great to see you again.

Carson: Great to have you on, brother. Wait a minute. I’ve been apologizing
to everybody for this interview that’s about to go down. But this is the
book. And I was a big fan of the crew book, the neil straus book.

Tommy: Yeah, excellent.

Carson: And this book — and there’s some rock stars right now writing
books. This is the book that you wish they would write. Like you didn’t
hold back at all.

Tommy: True, true.

Carson: I mean your life has just been, I mean it’s been crazy.

Tommy: Bananas.

Carson: Bananas. Being born in greece and just being in a band like
motley crue. I mean, how do you sit down to write this sort of this thing?
And you started of well by the way and then I’ll let you talk. It starts
off with you and your penis having a conversation. Do you talk often.

Tommy: Yeah, sure, all the time.

[ Light laughter ] Doesn’t everybody?

Carson: Show of hands?

Tommy: Come on, don’t let me down now, buddy.

[ Laughter ] I’m not the only one. I know I’m not.

Carson: But what a crazy, crazy — what made you even want to write

Tommy: I just recently turned 42 and I had about a year off between
tours and records, so I was like maybe now would be a really good time
to write a book. And I believe misconception is one of my worst enemies,
by far. Because you know the things people see in the press are just little
blips and pieces and a lot of it is untrue. And very little of it is true.
And it just felt like — and I wasn’t interested in writing some fluffed
up autobiography —

Carson: Right.

Tommy: — Or, a chronological autobiography. I really wanted to break
the mold. Obviously me starting out with me having conservations with my
penis would be a way to break the mold.

Carson: It’s unbelievable. It’s definitely a nice conversation the two
of you have.

Tommy: And I figured this would be a good time to just lay it all out
there and then maybe I won’t have to answer any more stupid questions.
‘Cause I get asked a lot of stupid questions.

Carson: Right. I had six in a row.

Tommy: Excellent, excellent.

Carson: You offer up some of your love tips and suggestions. Surprised
by some of the things I read here. One of which was you highly recommend
larger women. Thick girls.

Tommy: Yeah, they’re fun. I like all sizes and shapes.

Carson: What is it about the larger woman that you seem —

Tommy: I don’t know. For some reason —

Carson: Is it sex? []

Tommy: Excuse me.

Carson: Is it the sex.

Tommy: Oh yeah, they seem wilder. It’s almost like they don’t get to
play a lot or something. I’m not sure what that is. You know what I mean?

Carson: No, but I —

Tommy: I don’t know. They’re just a little crazier. They’re a lot of

Carson: Have you slept with all kinds of women.

Tommy: Kind of.

Carson: Do you have a choice that you stuck to like a “penthouse”-type
chick or a porn star or are you just like equal opportunity sex from your
rock and roll life.

Tommy: Yeah, equal opportunity. And right now, you would think I have
a preference for blondes because of my last two wives, but I actually don’T.
It just kind of worked out that way.

Carson: Right.

Tommy: I actually prefer the dark, exotic, brown, dark-haired brazilian

Carson: Right. You’ve had sex with a lot of them I’m sure.

Tommy: Yeah, right.

Carson: Now you’re also against threesomes which I found interesting.

Tommy: Yeah I am against —

Carson: What’s the problem with threesomes?

Tommy: Well, unless there’s some high bred male out there that I don’t
know about, someone’s left out.

Carson: Right.

Tommy: Right?

Carson: I don’t know. I’m assuming. So yeah,t makes sense. You should
have — it should just be even numbers. Like a sixteen-some.

Tommy: Yeah, so nobody’s left out. It’s a terrible thing when someone’s
sitting there by themselves.

Carson: What’s the most girls you’ve been with at once.

Tommy: At once?

Carson: Yeah. Have you just been in a full blown orgy where the room’s
going crazy.

Tommy: No, I haven’t done that yet.

Carson: Really?

Tommy: Yeah, and these days I’m doing everything I haven’t done yet.
That’s on my list.

Carson: You are right now? Really? At 42. What’s left out? That’s one
of them. What are you looking forward to conquering?

Tommy: Well, I haven’t been to egypt. I want to go stand at the top
of some pyramid, play drums in zimbabwe —

Carson: And have sex on the pyramid.

Tommy: Yeah, haven’t done that yet.

Carson: You haven’t? You should do that. I’m not sure if you actually
know this, but many of us have seen you have sex.

[ Laughter ] There’s a tape that leaked with you having sex with pamela

Tommy: I know.

Carson: You look like you know what your doing, but —

[ Laughter ] $77 million, that thing?

Tommy: Yeah, that’s what “the wall street journal” reported.

Carson: Do you get that money?

Tommy: We didn’t get a dime of that. Not one penny.

Carson: That’s crazy. How?  []

Tommy: I don’t know. We fought in court. And the judges denied us. And
we took it to the supreme court.

Carson: Right. Your sex tape went to the supreme court?

Tommy: Crazy, crazy. And they deemed it newsworthy. How was, how was
having sex with your wife newsworthy?

Carson: I think it was your size that made it newsworthy. It wasn’t
just average. It was newsworthy.

Tommy: That’s just crazy. That’s just the craziest thing I ever heard.

Carson: And you really paved the way for these other sex tapes. ‘Cause
like paris — her tape — she, I think, made herself director, we were
talking about, so she can make money off it now.

Tommy: Wow.

Carson: You’re like the jackie robinson of sex tapes.

Tommy: I’m honored, I’m honored. No, when that came out, I was like
finally, somebody else can take it. Here, go run with it.

Carson: Can I ask how that got out? You just think if you have this
thing you’d lock it crazily in the safe or something.

Tommy: Pamela and I, we were remodeling our entire house and the people
that were working on it suggested we put all of our valuaes in a safe,
so we locked everything up ’cause the house was pretty much open and being
torn apart. We went to christmas — we went to london, excuse me, to celebrate
christmas. Came back from london and I was going down to get something
out of the safe and it was hidden behind a big roll of carpet — carpeted
wall. Excuse me. And I went back behind the carpet and the entire safe
was gone with all of our stuff. Like cameras, watches, there was guns.

Carson: The sex tape.

Tommy: The tape. Wedding photos, everything, all of our memorilia.

Carson: Inside job?

Tommy: We think so. We don’t know for sure, but the entire safe was

Carson: Right. There’s nothing you can do, you know.

Tommy: And it’s not a little safe. This thing was like the size of a
fridge. Empty, it weighed 500 pounds. So it had to take a few guys and
a dolly.

Carson: That is crazy.

Tommy: It’s bananas.

Carson: This book is so — I mean the book speaks to basically — being
in a rock band and livg the rock and roll life style is awesome. What would
you like for like some 16-year-old dude that like idolizes you — what
do you want him to read about in this book and the craziness in your life
and take away from it?

Tommy: Well, along with the crazy stuff in there, there’s also a bunch
of things and a bunch of things that I’ve been through, particularly some
of the bad things in my life, and there’s some information in there that
really helped sort of change —

Carson: Like a drug thing or like behavior and jail?

Tommy: There’s some jail time stuff in there. There’s some books that
I read that absolutely opened my eyes to a bunch of new stuff. So, there’s
some stuff to take out of there. It’s sort of a smorgasbord. Just pick
and choose what you’d like to take away from it. But there’s plenty in
there to take away.

Carson: Right. Can I ask you — I want to mention, I know we can’t talk
about it, but the premise that tommy’s doing for a new reality show —
it’s on nbc?

Tommy: Yeah, nbc.

Carson: — Is tommy going back to college. Right?

Tommy: Not going back. I’ve never been.

Carson: Right. Okay.

[ Laughter ] Going to college.

Tommy: Well, I got a record deal when I was 17, in my senior year of
high school.

Carson: So you’re shooting the thing. I don’t know how much you can
say about it. But that seems — and it’s not just like a week. Like you’re
enrolled back in school or something? What can you say about it?

Tommy: I’m in the — just picture this in your mind. We’ll go with all
the details. But, it’s fish out of water, rock star goes to college, dropped
off in middle america — lincoln, nebraska. And, so you can just imagine.

Carson: And goes and lives there.

Tommy: Oh yeah, I’m living —

Carson: And are you banging college chicks?

[ Laughter ] I forgot you people were here. We’ll have to order another
beer, too. Will they air this show?

Tommy: Let me get the show off the ground first. Come on.

Tommy: Are you being you? Are you having a good time?  []

Tommy: Yeah, I’m studying.

Carson: Studying? For real?

Tommy: I’m taking tests.

Carson: What was the last test you took.

Tommy: I took a horticulture test.

Carson: Really.

Tommy: Absolutely.

Carson: And what kind of student are? Are you doing good?

Tommy: I believe I aced the test. When I get back there —

Carson: And you sit in class and take notes and go home and study and
bang the girls and study. You going to frat parties and stuff.

Tommy: Yeah, I’m going to frat parties.

Carson: It must be boring to you considering the parties you’ve thrown
and been to.

Tommy: No actually saw something that blew my mind. I didn’t know this
existed. It’s called keg tipping. Do you know what that is?

Carson: I mean I can imagine, but what is it?

Tommy: Well, you hang on to the edge of the keg, right. And you put
the nozzle in your mouth and pump it and you take the person — we took
this girl — and you take them by their ankles and you tip them upside
down and they drink the beer upside down. It’s a fantastic little sport.

[ Laughter ]

Carson: Keg tipping?

Tommy: Keg tipping.

Carson: That’s fantastic.

Tommy: Yeah, it is.

Carson: One of the many things — well, come back and let’s talk more
about that show and this book rules. Seriously, you did a really good job
with it. It’s a lot of fun.

Tommy: “New york times” best seller.

Carson: Right there.

Tommy: Thank you very much.

Carson: Right here.

Tommy: No, it just entered. I’m so pumped.

Carson: Sex, drugs and rock and roll, “new york times” best seller.

[ Cheers and applause ] Tommy lee.

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