Jizzy Pearl’s Ratt Tour Diary Focuses On Rock Cliches

singer Jizzy Pearl is contributing tour diaries for Metal Sludge for this summer’s tour. One portion that was especially funny said, “The audience responds each time like it was the first time. I just open up my Big Book of Rock Cliches and begin reading…

‘GREAT TO BE HERE IN insert city name!!’ — APPLAUSE

‘I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!’ or it’s distant cousin ‘I CAN’T FU**ING HEAR YOU!!’ — APPLAUSE APPLAUSE

Then there’s ‘Make some fu**in’ noise!’ ‘Is everbody feelin’ good?’ or here’s one –‘ARE THERE ANY VIRGINS IN THE AUDIENCE TONIGHT?’ — that’s a real crowd pleaser. I know it’s corny and cheesy but what the fu** this isn’t Art Rock this is CO** ROCK DAMMIT and all the necessary bells and whistles apply. Lights, fog, big gongs gonging and girls showing us their tits whilst standing on someone’s shoulders. It’s summer and people are here to let off a little steam. Fu** it. It’s fun.” Read more.

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