Gene Simmons’ Busy Weekend
KISS bassist/vocalist Gene Simmons has posted the following message on his official web site: “Busy weekend. The day began with the entire clan Sophie, Nick, Miss Tweed and yours truly going to the A&E Upfronts of our ‘Gene Simmons Family Jewels’ show. Advertising execs show up and watch the summer TV schedule. We smiled. We chatted. We posed and then we left.”
“By evening, our ‘Gene Simmons Family Jewels’ TV crews hosted the 1st Annual Gene Simmons Fetish Beauty Queen contest. Go to the video store and rent Fellini’s ‘Satyricon’. That movie will give you a sense of what was seen and heard. Transvestites (in rubber and leather), Betty Page look-a-likes (in rubber and leather), dominatrix girls (in…rubber and leather)…and ending with the beauty contest.
“The following day, we hosted the opening of our Gene Simmons Bikini Car Wash ( — it’s trademarked…along with ‘Naked Car Wash’). It struck us that having your car washed is one of the more boring things in life. Especially for guys. Remember, the male of the species is visually stimulated (which is why men’s skin magazines sell and the female versions don’t). So, we decided to have great-looking girls wash your car, instead of the usual (use your own superlatives). Lots of fun…and suds…and wetness.
“When this becomes a real business, you’ll be able to (during daylight hours) drive up and get the Gene Simmons Bikini Car Wash treatment. However, at night (and indoors) it turns into the… Gene Simmons Naked Car Wash. Same job on your car. But, more to look at.
“And an editorial note: Some of you get sick and tired of seeing Gene Simmons in front of every project. Not my problem. I like it. I like me. And, I am unabashed and unapologetic of being in the Gene Simmons Business. If there can be Geffen Records and Bloomberg TV and Walt Disney Pictures…there can be Gene Simmons Everything. Those guys did it right. And, I certainly intend to do the same.”